Monthly Archives: September 2011

The Way We are ……

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Teen - Girlfriends - Silly


I was just randomly skimming through a blog when I came across this poem that a very promising young blogger had written to vent his ire and scorn on the extravagant airs put on by a fuss spot species he claims to have borne enough with to remain a bachelor all his life. Though he claims by a foot note in the end that females would not be that dumb to think it was targeted at them with malice and doubt his unaffected love for them. I visualize him wearing that 70’s costume and singing to his girl friends “I hate you like I love you …” while sandals and stilettos fly in the air like missiles….

I have this remorseless feminist streak in me that is unusually aggressive when confronted with sexist ideas, however amazingly I couldn’t help laughing out at this one. Well, who said all we women knew was just sarcasm and whining. We can always take a dose of good humor provided that has nothing to do with our looking plump in a dress, our age, our branded dress , our views, our hair,…. oh! Well .  Leave it at that!!…..   ahem!  For all those ladies who stand guarding the feminist brigade, believe me I will join you as soon as I finish this article, so please don’t outcast me, and don’t let your blood pressures shoot up.

It’s true at times we are just downright ummm silly to be precise. Like when we are too worried if our hair is looking all right, that we forget to change our bath room slippers. There are other hilarious instances when we keep trying to open the car with the keys only to realize that it’s just the same model belonging to the guest at our neighbors’ house who is giving us weird looks from the gate, not the same one we have owned for last one year. Yes, we do take hours trying to choose a dress, for we want nothing but the best. The genus that complain that we take time to get ready, if only they would all bundle up to mars, we would roam around in pajamas (PS : I will make sure my pajama is better than hers )

We love shopping, we can shop till we drop and maybe still drag ourselves to the next sale at Westside. Yes, we are crazy about soft toys, we hug them to sleep and give them silly names. We threaten our guys that if they don’t treat us well, we will get our “kutchus”, “pingus” and “ladoos” , an entire battalion of our soft kin and get them thrashed. We love to be punctual but we might bend the rules a bit for ourselves. In any case, it’s no chauvinism to keep a lady waiting. Yes, we do laugh and later ask what the joke was. We pick up artifacts that say do not touch. Once we start the tirade of bickering and gossiping, we can give competition to radio FM without having to gulp water at intervals.

We may be childish and immature, but we care for people even if we get nothing back. We may expect the men to hold the doors open for us, but we champion for equal rights for we don’t doubt the potential of our own hands. We turn on the tap and cry at drop of the hat, not because we are weak, but because we are never embarrassed of our emotions. We are unreasonable not because we don’t know the reasons, just because we expect some special people to explain it to us.

We get attached even with our house help, we fight with our friends even though we know we don’t exist without them, we laugh without reason, we shout, we jump at little surprises and cry when the star crossed lovers in our favorite serial die. We fight, sometimes just to find out if the other side cares enough to make it up. There are times we cry on our pillows to sleep and wake up with a smile pasted on our faces. That may be clichéd because we exist with various types of programming and the author has not yet attained her PHD in this genre.

That’s how we are and that is how we like to be. We are lovable and we are “us”. At the end of each cribbing of the opposite gender, they can’t help adding it’s we who add the much needed color to their poker faces and their well, their lives as mothers, sisters, daughters, friend, wives and well like it or not the difficult girl friend..We are sugar and spice, well though not everything nice..That’s so us. That’s the way we are.

 

PS: The Author is apprehensive that she will lose her female following. Don’t worry girls. The next article is the “Torn to Shreds” , discussion of the chromosome XY. Till then stay as awesome as you are . May the force be with us 🙂

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Girl in the Mirror

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Girl in the Mirror

Girl in the Mirror

I look at her, staring at me from the mirror,
A familiar face, a familiar question
Her peering eyes, pierces through my soul,
No disguise can alter this confession


Is it me or another face in the crowd
Another girl next door trying to ape somebody
Why can’t I be me and simply ignore
Walking my own path, undeterred and carefree


I close my eyes, fighting back the fear
How lonely and dark being “yourself “can be
But the girl in the mirror holds her head up high
She is who I would like to be


Not another copy, and by no one’s dictates
A life lived by my own errs and beliefs
I might be wrong, I fall and I learn
Living without pleasing anyone is such a relief


I open my eyes, I know she will survive
And tread with me in all my lows and highs
She may falter, but never will she break
Being herself is all she will try to strive

Just because I’m a girl??

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Being a girl

Just because I am a girl

It was just one of those family get -togethers I don’t really look forward to. Why I have such an aversion to them is because they often lead to such discussions that leave me wishing I could do a la- Mr. India disappearing act!. Well, in such a chit chat sessions with my relatives the other day that I realized that I don’t need to read reports about unfairness with girls, it is so deeply entrenched in our society that it is rampant in the minutest of forms. We have got so used to it and it has weaved itself so intricately in the social ideology that we have started ignoring it as something that would never change. 

 I had just announced casually that I had decided to pursue law after b.com. The reaction I got was like I announced I was planning to elope with a guy. “Law??”, “why law”, “women lawyers have broken homes”, “Narinder (my father) did u tell her lawyers don’t get good grooms”, “law is not a career for women, women are supposed to be docile and submissive”. I stared at them and for the first time I realized my argument would never change their beliefs. As my parents tried to dodge their question and reason out, I was lost in my own thoughts. Brought up by well educated and broad-minded parents, I had never been introduced to what is a “conventional” career for a girl. 

 What irritated far beyond the glass ceilings they defined and reminded me about was their concept that viewed every girl as another docile woman in the making who would be meek follower of the wishes of her husband and led by the males in her family. I fail to buy the viewpoint that suggests I should compromise with my dreams and passion just because it would lessen the chances of me getting a good match.

 This was just a peep into the realty. The situation is much worse and grave. There have been numerous instances when I have been told by some aunty ji on how useless my education is and my being a good home maker would be the only thing that would be helpful to me later in life. There are others who advise that on face of eve teasing and being harassed with opposite gender, we should dare not reply back and just lower our eyes and ignore. There are other specimens who narrate how they started saving for their daughter’s dowry since she was in 12th like she is some commodity in the marriage market to be traded. 

 We have known of evils like female foeticide, early marriage, dowry, harassment of women at work places, eve teasing, molestation and preference of male child. These issues have laws being legislated so as to bring women at par with men. However, the bare fact is that we cannot eliminate these vices until we change the mindset. Today when women have broken all marble ceilings and have carved a place for themselves in every sphere of life, it’s high time to stop regarding her as an inferior. To all the parents and taejis-chachajis-buajis out there, realize that your daughter and the girl in front of you has the acumen to be the next Kalpana chawla, Indira nooyi, Fathima beevi or Pratbha patil. For all the girls out, learn to bring out the change you wish to see by being what you want to be. 

Dreams for Tomorrow !

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Dreams for Tomorrow !

Dreams for tomorrow
Today, dreams weave in my eyes
Like bubbles of soap from my heart they rise
To achieve what we seek, everyone tries
For that we endure every pain and strife
Many smiles postponed and moments unlived here
Missing the comfort that complacency spares
Whilst fighting to pave our way clear
Reminiscences of failure confront and stare
But I stop to make a promise with self
That to my dreams, I will stay true
Blocked may the path be with rubble or rocks
I will push; I will steer and surely pass through.
Whatever tomorrow brings next, I will know
I tried till my final breath to give the best
Whatever tomorrow brings, It will show
That there is a force above for all the rest….

LG-Life’s Good

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Life's Good ;)

Life's Good 😉

I often find myself slipping into the introspection mode. One random thought hits me and I am left chewing the cud over it till I find satisfaction for my inquisitive soul.

The other day sitting with my class mates on the rickety benches of our college, one such question hit me and left me pondering for the rest of the day. I observed that none of the people around me seemed to be in a state of happiness, as a matter of fact nobody seemed to be even near it. We all are so full of complaints, desires and regrets that we are left cribbing forever. What could be the reason that despite living such comfortable lives, surrounded by luxuries in every form and even good relationships, there is always something that nags us and keeps us from being happy, or at least be contented. Is it a mere outlook or the fact that habitually we have tied our happiness to too many expectations? It is true that Man is constantly weaving dreams to reach the El Dorado. He never seems to be happy with what he has. He instead focuses his energies on the lack of things he desires. These desires unfortunately never end.

You look around and pore over this. There are those who fret because they don’t have the means for a decent living, there are others who have the means but not someone whom they can share their lives with. Then there are those who have both of these blessings but fret because they still can’t buy the car some MR Sharma owns or feel that their friend’s partner is more understanding than their own. My own friends seem to be lost in a quiet, under the carpet race of sporting the best car, branded accessories, hooking up the best girl/ guy in college for dates and then fretting over that the other chick their class mate could please was way cuter. There are others who think keep agonizing if they will get into a good post graduate college.

And be able to fish out a good package. They are worried about anything and everything right from their seemingly frizzy hair, their wardrobes, to a low score in assessments, break ups, peer pressure, weight gain, and parent’s expectations to their own endless ambitions. Before I find them confronting me, let me admit I myself find reasons as silly as inane fights and a baggage of guilt and regret to affect my sanity and rationality.

However I have begun to emerge from the maze that kept me from relishing happiness in its simplest forms. It was in the worst of situations, when I had lost all hope on myself and my dreams that I discovered, that happiness is just a state of mind. The reasons that kill it are that we plan too much, we have over the top desires and we expect too much from ourselves, our lives and people we love. Get up tomorrow and tell yourself that life comes with all the challenges and you are ready to face them with a smile. Tell yourself today, you are going to be a one man army with the sole mission of keeping happy. Life may hit you hard but you will be a fighter if you can steer with a grin, if not a smile.

Life’s good and believe me, there are no conditions applying to this fact.

May the force be with you !